Ah the holidays, a time of unshakeable excess. We’re sure everyone’s feeds are filled with companies pushing this season’s fashion and that your moodboards are adorned with travel destinations, holiday outfits and decorative inspo. Here at TPOF we’ve decided to make your visits home a little easier by combining the gift-giving aspect of the holiday season with the relationships between personalities and style preferences. Here’s the gift-giving guide we’ve created using some of our favorite stereotyped family members, what they’ll likely be wearing this season, and what you could get them for Christmas.
Versace ‘Baroness by Sarah Baker’ Holiday 2019 Ad Campaign. (Photo: theimpression.com)
The Eccentric Aunt
She’s just flown in from a working holiday in Thailand and is still wearing her comfortable yet stylish travel clothes. She walks in late wearing nude heels, a maxi skirt and an oversized turtleneck sweater. Her accessories include precious gems dangling from her ears, necklaces from her travels that were probably bought at a tourist trap, bespoke rings on each finger (bought by, and given to herself, because she believes marriage is an outdated institution) and a hair wrap she picked up from Nordstrom’s Rack on her way to the party. The thin, gold-framed reading glasses stay on throughout the night, even though you could’ve sworn she got Lasik last year. This Auntie is a real mystery, but where she’ll be at the party is not. She’s spilling recipes she’s picked up abroad to the cook and spiking the punch bowl with CBD to make sure everyone around her is relaxed this Christmas.
Gift ideas: What do you get the person who has everything they want? A niche item from a small boutique or something with a little theatricality, like this fan.
FERN FANS
Painted birchwood and cotton-voile fan
£80.00
Female Relative Visiting from College
Understandably, coming home hits most with a healthy wave of nostalgia, but this family member has flown into a state of full-blown childhood regression. The splendor of being back home is characterized by lounging around the living room while avoiding as many questions from family members as possible. She wears an old pair of Lululemons, an Odd Future festival hoodie and fuzzy socks well into the family gathering. She only bothers to manage an outfit change for dinner, so that everyone on IG will think she was wearing an oversized grey blazer, a matching loose-fitted grey slack plant, a white crop top, white Air Force 1s and a fuzzy white scrunchie tying up her bedhead. You can find her hanging out by the buffet and hogging the bathroom for the great selfie lighting.
Gift ideas: Anything that could help keep them comfortable when they go back to school for the winter semester, like a bathrobe, slippers, a silk pillowcase, or an upgrade on the sweats she pulled out of her drawer.
EBERJEY
Heather jersey pajama pants
£80.00
The Cheap Uncle
He shows up with a Trader Joe’s Two-Buck Chuck and an uncomfortably corny joke to use on everyone. His outfit, however, is comfortable and casual, a true reflection of the mental state for a man with uncomplicated desires. He’s chilling in an oversized brown jacket, a red flannel and a pair of blue jeans. He wears a plain white Hanes cotton t-shirt underneath his flannel and keeps it all tucked into his jeans with a brown belt. You can find him working the room with confidence and acting coy around the Christmas tree he hasn’t contributed to decorating or challenging someone to trivia, or an old-school card game to make a quick buck.
Gift ideas: This person in your life is drawn to practicality and doesn’t feel comfortable with large presents, so you can stick to what he knows with a flannel or a new deck of cards. He might have better luck with a better set.
WILLIAM & SON
Two-Pack Playing Cards
£75.00
The Wine Mom
She actually hasn’t cared about Christmas since she was a teenager herself, but always insists on having the party at her house so she doesn’t have to drive home. Her accessories are a pair of studded gold earrings from Anthropologie and a DIY necklace that her child gave to her as an early Christmas present. Even with the rose-colored glasses of motherhood she can see that this necklace is one of her child’s worst creations, but she begrudgingly wears it with a smile. She rewards herself for being so selfless with an ever-present mug of mulled wine and a silk blouse to match. She chose a silk that had been dyed a deep maroon color and jeans that had been dyed black, so that any wine stains accumulated throughout the night may be camouflaged within the fabric. She’s no amateur. You can find her passing on her wisdom and unsolicited advice to the younger female family members by the fireplace.
Gift ideas: Wine mom loves a moment to herself and would probably appreciate a scented candle, new bath towels or essential oils. Or, well, this triple-threat.
LA PERLA
Belted silk-satin robe
£255.00
The Misunderstood Teenager
Find her sulking in the corner of the Christmas party wearing all black, like Wednesday Adams. She’ll be silent the whole evening since her parents took away her phone for complaining about how the holidays are a capitalistic ploy to get people to spend money. She chooses an outfit that symbolizes the power of silent treatment in her clothing: a pair of black Doc Martens, black tights and a black dress. Tucked underneath her Doc Martens are a pair of textual “F- Off” socks that she waits to pull out at the right moment, letting her clothes do all the talking. You’ll find her avoiding taking family photos with her head buried in a copy of The Catcher in the Rye, only stopping to retweet Greta Thunberg.
Gift ideas: Young misunderstood would appreciate a pair of dark sunglasses, a notebook to keep their ideas in or an indie 90s movie to watch with friends.
SAINT LAURENT
Kate cat-eye acetate sunglasses
£270.00
The Finance Bro
There he is, the belle of the ball, who has officially left his Tribeca loft for the first time this year to attend the family party. Find the finance bro getting roped into another free stock investment consultation with Cheap Uncle before he even gets a chance to hang up his Burberry coat. He spends the evening in a grey Everlane cashmere sweater, khaki chinos and a pair of mahogany-colored loafers. Across his neck is a monogrammed cashmere scarf - a gift from a girlfriend who he broke up with just before the holidays, telling her he wasn’t sure if he wanted something serious. You can find him trying to keep it real in conversations with the family, but fails at feigning interest for longer than a glass of scotch lasts.
Gift ideas: The perfect gift idea for the Finance Bro is a little something on-brand to let him know that it’s okay to embrace who he is. While a lot of his money is tied up in crypto and he uses card, you can’t Venmo the valet.
BOTTEGA VENETA
Intrecciato Leather Money Clip
£150.00
Whether you’re keeping family traditions alive or making new ones this year we hope that your holiday season is a joyous one. Hopefully we’ve been able to give you a gift idea for one or two of your own family members. Make sure to send this article to your favorite cousin, so you can compare notes on the tribe members before Christmas is underway.
Gucci Holiday 2019 Ad Campaign by Harmony Korine. (Photo: theimpression.com)
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