I’ll never forget the first question my Introduction to Psychology professor asked the class during my very first day at university. “Do you believe people can change?” A show of hands demonstrated that opinions were mixed. (Her point was, if you didn’t believe that people can change, you shouldn’t be pursuing a career in psychology.)

First things first - why should you, or anyone for that matter, change? The thought itself makes us defensive. Shouldn’t you ‘be who you are’? It’s a nice thought, but studies prove that most of us want to change some aspects of our personality. As we at TPOF and PSYKHE believe that one of the most powerful things about fashion is that it can steer your identity, and help you live into a better future self, it’s important to examine the ways in people want to change.

Three of the Big 5 traits in particular are where we supposedly want to move the needle most. According to research, we want to be:

More Conscientious (better at getting things done)
More Extroverted (not so antisocial); and
Less Neurotic (get less upset, be able to stay in a better mood)

Further proof is the never-ending roster of personal development and self-help books on the topics of productivity, how to influence, widening your network and social sphere, being calmer, less anxious, and happier (elusive as that is).

While generally speaking, our baseline personality trait scores remain fairly steady throughout our lifetime - we are to an extent, wired how we are wired - there has been a lot of evidence that we can change coming out of the growing field of neuroplasticity, which looks at how we can alter those hard-wired connections. Because - whether positive, neutral, or negative - that’s all that behavior patterns really are. Whether you smoke, meditate, always have the third glass of wine, run every Saturday morning, compulsively Instagram scroll, or always cleanse thoroughly before you go to sleep, behavior patterns are like electrical currents that run through grooves on the brain created through repetition. The more you repeat a behavior, the more a pattern gets engrained in your neural pathways.

So how much can you really change?

Here’s a great analogy that illustrates how nature and nurture work together into shaping our personality and behaviour. In Norman Doidge’s book The Brain That Changes Itself, professor of neurology at Harvard Medical School, Alvaro Pascual-Leone, outlines a powerful metaphor that describes how hard (but not impossible) it is to change. He explains: “the plastic brain is like a snowy hill in winter. Aspects of that hill — the slope, the rocks, the consistency of the snow — are, like our genes, a given. When we slide down on a sled, we can steer it and will end up at the bottom of the hill by following a path determined both by how we steer and the characteristics of the hill. Where exactly we will end up is hard to predict because there are so many factors in play. "But," Pascual-Leone says, "what will definitely happen the second time you take the slope down is that you will more likely than not find yourself somewhere near the path you took the first time, It won't be exactly that path, but it will be closer to that one than any other. And if you spend your entire afternoon sledding down, walking up, sledding down, at the end you will have some paths that have been used a lot, some that have been used very little ... and there will be tracks that you have created, and it is very difficult now to get out of those tracks. And those tracks are not genetically determined anymore." The mental "tracks" that get laid down can lead to habits, good or bad…Is it possible, once tracks or neural pathways have been laid down, to get out of those paths and onto different ones? Yes, according to Pascual-Leone, but it is difficult because, once we have created these tracks, they become "really speedy" and very efficient at guiding the sled down the hill. To take a different path becomes increasingly difficult.” A roadblock of some kind, or strong motivation, is necessary to help us change direction.

A lot of behavior change comes down to once concept: “act as if”, meaning that if you pretend to feel a certain way that your brain will catch up and reroute. I’d also like to assert: “dress as if”. Here are some ways you can apply this concept through fashion and otherwise.

How to Become More Conscientious

Through behavior:

Conscientiousness can shape career choices, friendship, health outcomes, the stability of long-term relationships, and many other aspects of life. If a person has self-control and is organized, they tend to stick to healthier habits and make all-around beneficial decisions. Being lower in conscientiousness is a bit of a struggle - you find it hard to stay disciplined, organized and on top of things.

Building conscientiousness takes some personal management. Firstly, set specific targets - vaguely vowing to be more conscientious and organized probably won't get you very far. But if you set your mind on paying bills on time or keeping your desk tidy, you’ll have more success.

Set a routine and work on sticking to it. Setting your own schedule and then following through on it encourages self-discipline. Thirdly, use tools: if you're not naturally conscientious, it can be all too easy to veer off course. Luckily, various apps exist to help us with reminders to track and meet our goals.

Lastly, exercise - studies show that this is the one thing that has strong correlation with personality change and greatly impacts conscientiousness in particular.

Through fashion:

Because conscientiousness is about duty and diligence, striving for a neater appearance - clean, ironed clothes, a tailored blazer, a meticulous white sneaker - will get you far into feeling like you’ve got this. The very act of making an effort instead of putting on the sweatshirt that’s slung across the back of your chair again, will make you feel more mentally together. Conscientiousness is also linked to achievement and success - if you want to trigger this feeling of a winner - get yourself something you would get if you had achieved the goal as a promise to work on the goal. Every time you look down at it, it’ll remind you to get back to work. Any accessory with gold hardware also works, as we associate gold with winning.

How to Become More Extroverted

Through behavior:

If you’re an introvert, you’re probably pretty content staying home and keeping to your own hobbies and rituals. And yet, deep deep down, you probably know you’re missing out on some level of connection with your fellow humans. If only you wanted to. Evidence shows that conquering your inner introversion can be good for your mental health as humans are inherently social creatures.

In a recently published study, researchers at the University of California asked 123 people to act as extroverts for a week. Participants were asked to be talkative, assertive and spontaneous in their daily interactions with other people. The following week, the same group was asked to act like introverts. The findings were strong. Dr Sonja Lyubomirsky, the lead researcher told The Guardian, “When people acted extrovert, they experienced more positive emotions and satisfaction. When they acted introvert, they experienced fewer positive emotions.”

Jessica Pan, introvert and author of Sorry I’m Late, I Didn’t Want to Come, spent a year as an extrovert and documented the experience in the book. She advises that while taking this approach, to steer clear of small talk, which introverts loathe. Instead, go deep and be vulnerable. “Share something vulnerable about yourself, even if that seems terrifying. A person will match that normally and you will feel as if you’re making a friend”, she has said.

Through fashion:

A sartorial way to feel more extroverted in social situations or video calls is to wear a ‘conversation piece’ - anything with a statement detail or special craftsmanship that’s likely to rouse a question. Feeling that people are interested in you and your garb lays the groundwork for acceptance, and will make it easier to open up thereafter. Another way is to simply get a little more dressed up than you normally would. We associate comfy clothes - the hoodies and sweatpants we’ve all been living in the past year - with solitude and an intimate environment or situations. We associate a more effortful look with presenting to the external world. Again, act as if.

How to Become Less Neurotic

Through behavior:

If you analyze every action, feeling, and thought, and then analyze your analysis, chances are you’re on the neurotic end of the spectrum. There’s likely a non-stop narration going on in your head, mapping out the possible negative consequences of every future action. Often, what’s actually happening doesn’t really warrant your level of worry or sadness. Neurotics feel more negative emotions more strongly, so they take what might be a small blip very hard. While there are many positive results from being this way, you’re always prepared, extremely self-aware, and sensitive to others, it can make life hard.

Exercise and meditation have shown to be the two most effective ways to curb neuroticism. Results from a recent study also showed that the longer people had been practising meditation, the more their personalities had changed: they showed higher levels of openness and extraversion and lower levels of neuroticism with more meditation. The reason is that both exercise and meditation boost feel-good neurotransmitters and endorphins that offset the dramatic negative response that the neurotic brain is feeling. You’ve probably experienced this: while initially ruminating on a problem obsessively, after a good run or sweat session, the same issue somehow doesn’t feel as harrowing, and you suddenly feel equipped to deal with it.

Through fashion:
Neuroticism has many facets - the proneness to anxiety and worrying, but also to depression and feeling sad. If it’s more that you’re tense and wound up about a situation, spa-like colors we see in nature and natural elements work best to calm the mind, as do heavy, plush fabrics. There’s a reason weighted blankets work to offset anxiety - try to find thick-gauge heavy weight sweaters to reproduce the effect.

Nature-inspired fashion works for the same reason that being outside in nature works. As an antidote to stress and to trigger zen, opt for clothes with earthy references such as botanical and floral prints, flowy blue pieces to emulate water, wood accessories, and shoes and bags with shells, pearls, green malachite or other stones. Made from bamboo, pearl, and tortoiseshell, Los Angeles-based brand Cult Gaia’s bags are the perfect example.

That first day at university, I hadn’t put up my hand. I really wanted to, but my inherent cynicism, even at such a young age, stopped me. By then, I had met enough people that I wished had been able to change, which hadn’t. I now realize that what had been missing - an understanding of one’s own mind, self-awareness - and the tools to influence one’s own behavior patterns. I hope that for our generation and beyond, these tools become commonplace. Be it through a meditation, a run, or a change of a dress.